- “Crochet is a dying art.” Sure…..that’s why I’m doing it. That’s why there are eleventy billion crochet videos on YouTube….because absolutely no one but me is interested in this stuff.
- “This isn’t your grandma’s crochet!!” No, no it is not. My grandmother died in 1989, but she did teach me how to crochet, and how to make some kickass tea biscuits….don’t you feel like a big jerk right now.
- “Whatcha knitting?” Come closer….closer…..closer….THWAP!! Crochet hooks can also be used to pop you on the forehead when you ask that question.
- “Yeah…..crochet is okay for trim/baby booties/aghan/toilet paper cozies/insert awful 70s item here, but if you make socks/a sweater/gloves/etc., then you should really knit it.” If it can be knit, it can be crochet. It won’t be the same but that is the great thing about DIFFERENT techniques. They tend to produce different end results.
- “That yarn is for knitting. You can’t crochet with that.” I am going to carry a heavy wooden 20mm crochet hook in my purse, just so I can make like Little Bunny Foo Foo and pop yarn store staff on the head the next time I hear that. You can crochet with any yarn that your happy little hooking heart desires to crochet. Just because the label says “knitting worsted” does not mean that you can’t crochet with it. Knitter, please!!!
- “Gee, I wish I had the time to do all that.” I have the same 24 hours in a day that you do, I just choose to spend my free time doing this. Sometimes I also work out or walk the dog or do laundry.
- “You should totally sell that.” Are you going to buy it? Probably not. The market for handmade is there but it’s not cheap like you probably think it is. Thank you for the compliment, but no, I probably won’t be selling my things any time soon. Also, what is wrong with making something for enjoyment’s sake? OR it’s equally charming opposite….
- “Do people actually pay you (insert price here) for that? Like, I mean, they seriously pay you to make that stuff???” What’s worse is when other hookers say this to each other. I saw this play out in a crochet group recently. “Well, I would never charge that much for a blanket. Who on earth would pay that? Blah, blah, blah (insert self-righteous bitching about high pricing here).” Seriously? If someone is selling something, chances are good that someone out there is buying it. Who cares if you wouldn’t pay that price. I can deal with the uninitiated public saything this because they (mostly) aren’t makers, when fellow artisans put each other down over pricing. Wow. Way to lend a hooker a hand.
- “You should teach me how to do that.” Sure. You buy a pattern that you like, purchase the yarn and hooks, and we’ll get together…..probably not. Chances are good I’ll never see you at the yarn circle, but that’s ok. More cookies for me.
- “If I buy you the yarn and pay you for your time will you make this for me?” Nonono infinity!!!! Experience has taught me that no matter who you are to me, you’ll start treating me like the help while I make whatever it is that you need so much, and when it’s over you’ll try to reward me with a nice, crisp $20 bill or some gift card for a store that sells something useless, for all my efforts because you “paid for everything”. Are we friends? Yes? Then let’s stay that way. You buy the yarn and you make it yourself. When I feel like selling something, I’ll invest in it, I’ll make it, I’ll price it fairly, and you can visit my craft table like everyone else.
- “OMG you should totally make baby clothes!! People go nuts for that on Etsy!! I know this girl who does that and blah…blah….blah…..” Sorry. I have a mental block about baby anything. It’s like The Fonz trying to say he’s wrong. I try and I try to do baby gear but it just doesn’t come out and I’m totally okay with that.
- “What kind of needle are you using?” THWAP!!!! It’s a hook!! Crochet means hook!!! Not needle – hook!!! It’s a French word!!!
Infrequently updated
It’s like you’re on a miisosn to save me time and money!